Saturday, March 28, 2009

Portland Showers

Some magnificent opportunities to thoroughly examine the various mosses in Portland's century-old sidewalks have presented themselves to me. In other words, the coming of spring and Portland showers arrive with a fair share of personal exploration on my part. A wave of curiosity and inspiration along with a dash of sincerity pulled me into a physical cleanse as March began. It was a Naomi type of Master Cleanse that stuck around for about ten days and threw me into realms that my body-mind has never experienced even imagining that I had the capability of undergoing. As I transitioned into baby food, and the buds began to bulge with anxious blossoms, I swam my way through the thick airs of sentient world into the Gathering Cloud Temple (check us out: touchingearth.wordpress.com) for a week of, principally, Zen-style, silent retreat. Eight hours of sitting per day 5am-9pm, intermittent with delicious food, beautiful ceremony, dharma study-talks (Zen poetry "Faith in Mind" and Dogen's "Actualizing Dharma"), lots of yoga and examination of my steps. Breaking down, building up, re-breaking, re-building, un-breaking, not-building, not-breaking, un-building, my mind. To speak of a silent retreat is funny, no? I do, however, have a few more words for it… I can say that it was an extremely profound and inspiring experience. I see how much respect for and dedication to the ancient practice of sitting I have cultivated along with that for Sangha, community, with which to support it. Scary, difficult, blissful, hellish realities all culminate at a point where I find compassion for myself and my uniqueness. The more that I disassemble what my understanding of Naomi is, the more space I create for openness and love to permeate my being.

Those were many words.

A summary of gratitude.

A welcome of Spring

Innumerable dreams.